I am so incredibly in awe of how much I absolutely and irrevocably love my children. I know that I brag about them often, extol their accomplishments and even proclaim my love for them. I have truly tried not to allow myself to use this blog as a place to sickeningly proclaim my love incessantly in such a fashion that is not interesting or helpful to anyone. No one likes when you act like you love your kids more than the rest of the world loves their kids. And while I completely acknowledge the fact that I am certain there are mothers the world over who have been blessed to feel the depth of devotion to their sweet babies as I myself do, I was reminded in recent weeks that there are some who do not. 
A local news story has weighed heavily on my heart these past weeks. If you care to read the story, you can find it here. Let me suffice to say that it tells a story of horror- of a child whose mother showed no such love. I wish I could explain how such an event can occur in nature. But it is not my place to know the answers to such ghastly questions in this life. Our Father God holds the answers and some day will bless us with His perfect knowledge. And on that day, I hope to see that sweet child who is now in His presence, feeling the love that was withheld in this life.
This horrible story has cause me to pray for the family of this child, both the victimized and the accused. But perhaps more than any of that, it has caused me to hold my own sweet babies a little closer to my heart.
This post is not intended to suggest that I am marvelous because I love my children so much. But to recognize with humility that God is molding my heart and changing me... He has given me these precious children to tend for the duration of my time here on earth, and because of the remarkable, incomprehesible love of His son, I can continue that relationship after this life. This is intended as a praise to Him who has allowed me to be a mother. It is a moment of sheer clarity in which I am recognizing that the Lord has given me sweet precious Spirits to love and cherish and I am almost certain that my heart would burst open had He not granted me the ability to love more deeply.
The joy and sorrow that come with being a parent are inextricable. I am burdened often by choices to make... how to help one child overcome the challenges of school and how to mold the personality of another child and how to help the other one feel safe. It is at that precise moment that I realize it is not within my power to do any of those things... although my earthly body is craving to control, it is He who is in control. He has given these sweet children to me and I thank Him every. day. for the blessing of being their mother.
I suppose what I am saying through all of this is that it is my prayer that in my life as a mother I will be a vessel of Christ's love to my children . I pray that God will use me to lead them to His Face. I pray that their hearts will be led to Him and that they will choose Him and His ways. I am honored and humbled to be their mother, and I know that even on days when I fail and am not enough- He is enough. And when I give all that I have, He will make it enough.
I guess these are my Mother's Day/Week thoughts. That I am blessed beyond measure to be the mother to the three most incredible children in this world. (Okay, so I needed to be a little sickening). I love each of them and I love their very different personalities.
This sad story and the timing of it have also motivated me to share the fact that I am eternally grateful for my own mother...
for the countless hours she has prayed on my behalf
for the patience that I tested and tried to the extreme
for the years upon years of teaching
for the school projects, plates and plates of Nancy's famous sugar cookies, for listening and letting me be me, despite the intense drama of it all. (I can say that now because I have a daughter JUST like me!)
Every year, I get a little more of a glimpse of what she has given to me. And I love her for it.
I hope you have all had a blessed Mother's Day. I hope your week was free from the heart ache of such a sad story. And I hope that my words have been more encouraging than depressing.
Happy Mother's Day!
* If you did read the story mentioned above, I hope you will pray for everyone involved. Only the peace of Christ can comfort their hearts.
