Why We Don’t Do
Santa, but We Still LOVE Christmas!
Alright-That’s it. I have
been insulted and accused enough.
So, I’m going to defend my choice as a mom because darn it- this is
Christmastime after all! Let me just say
this:
You can do Santa and be a great mom!
You can not do Santa and be a great mom!
You can do Elf on the shelf and be a great mom!
You can do advent calendars and be a great mom!
This is in no way shape, or form an effort to say that my
choice as a mom needs to be the same as yours.
It is, however, a defense of my
choice as a mom to say NO to Santa. I
have been called a scrooge, I have been judged and so here are my reasons, once
and for all:
1.
But Santa is Christmas! How can you have Christmas without Santa?!
We desire that our celebration of Christmas
be Christ-centered. We feel very
strongly that focusing on Santa directs our children to the idea of
receiving. Rather than moving an elf
around every day and having him do something naughty, we have an advent
calendar that contains a little treat, an activity, a scripture and a hymn for
the day. Our advent calendar is not a
countdown to when we get gifts, but a daily reminder to focus on the Savior, to
prepare our hearts for His coming. Do my
children ever behave in a greedy fashion?
Do they ever focus on what they are getting instead of what they can
give? Sure. But our choices as parents can either
reinforce that by focusing on Santa and presents, or redirect them, with
stories of Christ and giving. Do my
children still get excited for Christmas? Yes!
They LOVE our advent calendar and ask each morning what we’ll do
today. They LOVE Christmas morning and
they are just as excited to open gifts from mom and dad!
2.
Santa and elves are a fun way to teach
children to be good!
The very idea of a Naughty and Nice list
irks me to my core. Why? Because Christmas gifts, in my opinion, are
not a reward for good behavior. The
premise of this idea is that children “earn” gifts with their good behavior and
naughty children get no gifts or even receive a punishment in return. I have friends whose children ask throughout
December if they are on the naughty list or the nice list. They spend their days perpetually worried
about whether their behavior is good enough rather than just reveling in the
unmerited love of God. Is it any surprise
that so many Christians grow up worrying that they can’t be saved? Perpetually trying to earn their salvation
with works of righteousness rather than just spending each day thinking of,
loving and worshiping the One who has saved them? When we do this, the works of righteousness
flow naturally out of the new Christ life inside of us.
Christmas gifts are given out of love,
period. I do not give gifts to people
because they have earned it. If I send
you a Christmas gift or card, it is because I have love for you in my heart.
Truly. That love may vary from a memory of our friendship in past years to the
kind of love I have for my next door neighbor to the intense love I have for my
children. Christmas gifts, in our
family, are symbolic of the gift of Christ to us. They are given freely, out of love. Now before you get all, “What about
consequences for bad behavior or good behavior?” on me- please know that sometimes
my children lose privileges for poor behavior.
Sometimes they don’t get to have friends over to our house or
participate in a fun activity because they have made poor choices. But, in my opinion, Christmas is completely
different from these types of consequences because Christmas gifts are symbolic
of Christ. Christ did not come to earth
because we had been on our best behavior.
Christ did not offer himself up as a sacrifice for us because we had
made the nice list. He came because he
LOVES us! He offered himself out of
LOVE! God sent him here because HE loved
the world, NOT because the world had been behaving beautifully. If ANYTHING,
He came because we were behaving horribly and He loved us STILL. That is the beautiful message of
Christmas! His coming really is the
“dawn of redeeming grace”! And yes, children are literal and concrete thinkers
and need concrete examples. But they can grasp simple symbolism. My children know from the time they are two
that they take communion or sacrament on Sundays and the bread and water
symbolize Christ’s broken body and blood for us. They know that. Every year they understand it better. Christmas can be the same for them! We can take the opportunity to teach and
every year, their understanding of the Savior will grow. (I hope!)
3.
But they are so little and innocent! Shouldn’t we teach them to believe in Santa
while they are young? Protect their
innocence?
I
LOVE young children! I teach young
children every day. One of my favorite
things about working with young children
is their innocence. One of my other favorite things about young children is
their seemingly infinite capacity to trust.
It always amazes me how quickly, easily and fiercely they trust me. I can lead them anywhere and they will follow
because they know I want what is best for them.
Because of that trust, I take my job very seriously (mothering and
teaching) I work very hard at teaching them that I mean what I say and I say
what I mean. In my opinion, using their
innocence against them by tricking them feels like disrespecting their
innocence. Teaching them in simple terms
as they grow seems respectful to me. When
my oldest child Isaac was in the nursery at Church, he was barely 3 on Easter
Sunday. My sister in law happened to be
one of his nursery teachers and she asked all the little 3 year olds why we
have Easter. All of them said, “So the
Easter Bunny can bring us treats!!”
Isaac said, “Because Jesus got resurrected!” It was a special moment for me. I saw that the innocence of a young child can
be molded to suit whatever we teach them.
He was not too young to learn.
Did he completely understand the spiritual and physical ramifications of
the resurrection? No. But in his own little 3 year old mind, He knew that
Easter was about Jesus and that was enough for me.
We feel a strong desire to be honest with our children. I don’t know if you know this or not, but
SANTA IS NOT REAL. Telling my children
that he is real abuses their trust in me.
My children know that Santa was once a real person. We have taught them of St. Nicholas and how
the legend came to be. We have Santa
decorations and Santa books and we sing Santa songs occasionally. If you do Santa in your home, we do NOT judge
you. We just have made a different
choice. We ask the same respect. We are loving, caring responsible
parents. We are not mean,
baa-humbug grinches because we don’t do
Santa at our house. Just as we are sure
that you may very well love Christ and choose to do Santa.
4.
But Santa IS real as in the idea that he
embodies the spirit of giving!
Although some people feel that
Santa is real because Santa is the spirit of giving, we feel very strongly that
CHRIST is the symbol of giving. In our
home, we choose not to have anything to distract us from He who is the ultimate
gift giver. Jesus’s birth, life, death
and resurrection are beautiful and real stories of giving and love. We need no substitutions.
5.
But what about teaching them about
MAGIC? And fun and pretend and love and
giving???
We believe that there are real powers in
this world. Powers like GRACE, LOVE,
FORGIVENESS and GIVING. We want there to
be NO confusion between REAL and MAGIC.
God’s grace is not magic- it is REAL.
Our FORGIVENESS is not magic- it is REAL. It was bought and paid for on the Cross and
in the Garden. When I teach my children
about the Savior and they look at me with tears in their eyes and goosebumps on
their arms, I tell them that they are feeling the Holy Spirit. And I tell them that the Holy Spirit is real. I cannot in good conscience use that trust to
teach them about Santa and then later tell them that Santa wasn’t real… it was
just me all along.
Which brings me to my final point: I had some friends who told their daughter at
age ten the truth about Santa. She
looked at them with tears in her big brown eyes and said, “Is Jesus real, then?!” I just can’t do that to my children. What I want more than anything in this life ,
is for them to know that God is their Father in Heaven and He loves them with a
love so passionate it cannot be comprehended.
I will do all that I can to teach them the truth about their
Savior. God ACTUALLY sent His son to the
earth to be born in a stable. Jesus
TRULY loved and lived here on the earth: healing the sick and raising the
dead. Christ HONESTLY took my sin and
your sin upon Him and suffered and died on our behalf that we might return to
live with God. Jesus Christ LITERALLY
rose from the grave that we will rise as well.
His body ACTUALLY ascended to heaven and HE PHYSICALLY, LITERALLY and
TRUTHFULLY lives there, at the right hand of God waiting, preparing, urging,
guiding and providing our return to them.
THAT is REAL. The gospel is
truth. It is THE reason for
Christmas. If you do not know this
truth, I invite you to learn of Him. He
WILL bring peace to your soul.
