Our little laughing Lanaye turns 4 on Tuesday!
I bet you could tell me the whole story of the day your child was born; what you were wearing, what you were doing when you realized you were in labor. I have stories for all three of my big kids. Isaac's easy, by-the-book birth; Daphne's dramatic, rushed arrival, seven minutes after the ambulance dropped us at the hospital; Victoria was my breach baby, born by mandatory and traumatic C- section. I can tell you all about the details of those days.
But what if you had no idea? What if you were driving along down the road and a few cities away at exactly 9:01 am, your future daughter was born?
I suppose that is why I have been so preoccupied with the births of our three littlest girls. I can tell you every detail of the days they came to be in our family. (Here and Here) But I have been day dreaming about the days they were born; the days they took their first breaths... What were the rest of us doing?
I foraged through my journals for answers. (This is the moment where I kick myself for not writing more regularly and in more detail.) I have searched my emails, my lesson plans, my Facebook posts to find out what that day was like. How I wish I could go back and know exactly what we were doing! But alas, here is what I have pieced together:
On Tuesday November 02, 2010 at 9:01 am, I was at Weber State University, just beginning my preschool class alongside my student teacher, Susan. We were teaching about Fall that week. I can name a handful of children from that class. Victoria was 2 and a half, so she was down the hall going to her toddler classroom. It was election day- I voted. The Republican Party picked up 63 seats in the House, 6 in the Senate and 29 governorships. I remember watching the news and thinking how fickle we are as a country... two years before we had elected Barack Obama. We change our minds so quickly. Matt and I were having our house appraised. Daphne was in first grade and Isaac was in third grade. A few days before, we had all dressed up as the gang from Scooby Doo for Halloween.
Guess what, Shaggy and Velma?! Your daughter was just born!
And across the valley, at a hospital in Salt Lake City, our daughter was born. She weighed 7 lbs, 1 oz and had a head full of dark hair and the most precious cheeks! She was given a different first name and of course, a different family name. But she was also given the middle name of April. Five years later, she would stand in our kitchen and demand to be called April. And so here she is, our precious April Joy on the day of her birth:
A special shout out to the girls' biological aunt for sending these pictures to me. They are precious treasures!!
On Thursday, January 23, 2014 at 5:55 pm, Matt and I were rushing around trying to get to Isaac's junior high basketball game. We talked about how we had so much going on I wouldn't be able to cook. I had book club that night. Isaac was in 6th grade, Daphne was in 4th grade and Victoria was in kindergarten! I don't know a whole lot about that day. But I know I shared this video on Facebook:
How amazing is that?! How beautiful that the birth mommy of our girls chose life!? How perfect that when we asked God how we could help these babies, he sent us down this path? I see now that we best support women in crisis pregnancies by showing them love, support and stable adoptive homes for children.
While searching my journals, I found this entry from the week Lanaye was born:
My heart warmed to know that the very moment my daughter was born, I was mourning the loss of baby days... I had no idea that thirty minutes away, at a hospital in Salt Lake City, our tiny little Lanaye was born. She was 6 pounds exactly and faced some complications, but had head a head full of luscious dark hair and the sweetest face! Her nose is trademark Naye-Naye- Look at that perfect baby!!
I had to do some detective work to find a baby picture of Lanaye. I tracked down the photography company that took the pictures at the hospital where she was born, provided documentation about our adoption and got to order birth pics of our baby!!
Isaac, Daphne and Tori- just a few weeks after their little sister, Lanaye, was born!
On the morning of January 19th, 2017, I woke to a text message from our caseworker that made my heart leap:
"She had the baby around 5 this morning. :) The dad texted me around 5:30. He said Mom and the baby are doing great." She weighed 6 lbs. 8 oz. and was born with the cord wrapped around her neck and had swallowed meconium. She was whisked away for special care, but was fine and dandy just a few minutes later!
We took the girls to the hospital to meet their baby sister. When we arrived, the bio mom handed Lillie to me and laid down. I took over, letting the girls feed her a bottle, changing her diaper, singing to her and bouncing her. Their bio mom even said to me: "I'd just let you keep her if they'd let me."
Of course, as I shared in THIS post, we didn't bring Lillie home that weekend. Despite the birth parents not being safe enough for April and Lanaye, the State left Lillie in their care for another four months.
Lillie (you had a different name at birth, but it was EXTREMELY similar to Lanaye's and proved to be too tricky for me to keep straight!) We chose to name you after Matt's beautiful grandmother, Lillie Blue Hunter, whose Catawba heritage enabled us to adopt you. Grandma Hunter was full-blooded Catawba Indian, she had a special innocence about her; and something in your face reminds us of her!
Near our adoption date, Matt shared these pictures from Lillie's birth. I got chills when I saw them again- How blessed was I to hold my daughter on the day of her birth?! Last January, we truly had no idea what the future held for our family. We did not fully realize that this was the day our daughter was born. And here we are, one year later... reveling in the gorgeous family that is ours:
I laugh now when I think how I spent the past 2.5 years telling God what our future should be, imagining a different path than the one on which He led us. But although our youngest three joined us through an unconventional and painful method, I wouldn't change a thing. As I mentioned when we first started this journey HERE, sometimes heartbreak is beautiful:
April, Lanaye and Lillie- We cannot begin to express our gratitude and joy at being your parents. We know that the way you joined our family also meant a great loss for you. We hope to always honor your feelings about that; to acknowledge the tremendous loss. We are grateful to your birth parents for choosing to give you life during a dark time in their lives. We are grateful that they chose to bow out and give you a hopeful future rather than dragging all of us through a terrible court battle that would have caused you more pain and just delayed the inevitable. We are grateful that they tried for you. We hurt that their addictions proved too powerful. We thank them for trying; for every tear they wiped, every meal they served, every blanket placed over you... we hurt for you and for them because we know they love you and they wanted to be safe for you. We pray that we will be the parents you deserve; that you will know that you went from wanted to wanted, from loved to loved.
