An Abiding Mom

I needed this today.

I'm sharing this with you because I thought maybe there is someone else out there who needs it, too.

I'm pretty hard on myself. I think one of the most notable characteristics in my personality may very well be my tenacity. Some may call it pig-headedness. Whatever. Either way, it's one of those characteristics that can be used for good or bad depending on the situation and the health of my soul at the time.

As a mom, some days I (ridiculously) think, "Hey! I'm doing great! I'm such a good mom!." and other days, I worry, "Gosh- I shouldn't even be allowed to have kids I am such a bad mom today!." And, likewise, either statement is detrimental to my walk with Christ and to my life as a mother as well. Both statements are focused on me.- on my performance or lack thereof...

There are so many functions in the life of a mom: meal preparation, keeping everyone healthy, timing medicine for one child's allergies and one child' illnesses and preparing special foods for another child's digestive system, cleaning, taxi driving, meal prep., soccer practice, scouts, dance, school, homework, meal prep., cleaning, making sure everyone's bodily functions are working properly, grocery shopping, clothes shopping, meal prep again and oh yeah, "simultaneously teaching virtually everything" all at the same time. It occurred to me last week that just being a mom reminds me of the idea of keeping all the commandments all the time"... I am ever behind and never quite on top. Sigh.

Daphne's 3rd Birthday

So, what?

Should I just give up? I mean, Christ did say, "Be Ye therefore Perfect?"

I can't.

But what if he had said, "Be ye therefore mediocre?" (I got that from Sheri Dew!)
What if everyone just quit trying?

And as I was feeling particularly bombarded by life last week, I read this:

I know it's fuzzy- You can read the bigger version here.

Isaac and me 2 weeks before Daphne was born



My college graduation and the day I found out we were having Daphne!




This was one of my favorite sections: She abides in Christ and therefore bears much fruit.

"I am the vine, ye are the branches: he that abideth in me and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me, ye can do nothing." John 15:5

Daphne and me - she's 7 months, I think...

I think that one of satan's most successful tricks (for me) is to use my tenacity and determination against myself. Perhaps you could call that Pride. I find great joy in the peace and happiness that Christ offers me as a mom and I am thankful. At first. Then, after a few days, I am distracted and I think that I should be able to just grit my teeth and be a patient mom all day.

And I'm Not.

When am I going to permanently GET the fact that ALL of my good fruit comes from Him?

Daphne and me in my classroom at school

And that doesn't mean that trying is a bad thing, it just means that I realize that although I can't be perfect on this earth, I still try. That's the beauty of GRACE! His power empowering me to do things immeasurably beyond my own strength. (things like motherhood!) I may not be able to be perfect today. But I can be a little better tomorrow than I was today. I can acknowledge my Savior in all things- relying "wholly upon the merits of Him who is mighty to save." (II Nephi 31:19)

Isaac and me in Vienna

And that brings me to my new mantra:

I am in perpetual and passionate pursuit of my Savior.

The big kids and me in Rothenburg Ob der Tauber

And even though it won't be in this life that His work is completed in me, I won't quit running and I won't quit trying. I'll give all that I can and allow Him to take of pittance and make it enough.

Rue Cler in Paris
"My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me."

II Corinthians 12:9

Ice Caves in Austria
So, even though my offering as a mother may be as measly as five loaves of bread and two fish appeared to that crowd of 5, 000, He will bless it and make it enough- more than enough!

Ice Cream in downtown Stuttgart!

Please forgive me for sharing some pictures of me with my kiddos. I needed to remember some images of us together that didn't involve chaos!

Victoria and me at The Pumpkin Patch